Let It Snow

It's time for my annual rant on the topic of snow.

Please, out of consideration for everyone else on the road, clean as much snow and ice as possible off your vehicle before driving it anywhere.

First of all, it doesn't blow off as well as you think it does, particularly if it's two inches thick. Second, it does blow off some, into the windshields of everybody behind you, decreasing visibility on an already problematic day. Third, you look like a freaking idiot and I hate you.

Funniest I ever saw was after we'd had a snow storm followed by an ice storm, so three inches of snow all had a hard crust. Guy was driving a car down the highway when enough wind got under the sheet of ice on his hood to lift it off the snow in one complete sheet and send it flying up into the air. Idiot must have thought his hood flew off and he was about to get somebody killed. Luckily for all of us the ice sliced off onto the shoulder. I pulled up next to him to look over and his face was gray like death. I laughed and laughed. This could be you.

If your SUV is too tall for you clean off the roof, consider that you have bought a vehicle too freaking large for human scale living. That means that either you should get rid of it, or admit you are an inhuman monster of some kind.

2007.12.06 at 12:00pm EST