Date: Tue, 2 Nov 93 11:26:18 -0500
From: Daniel Appelquist (dan@porsche.visix.COM)
Subject: D&E Quiz Answers!

Ok -- here we go, starting from #10.

10. Who are the dark rooks in the "Heat of the Mac" chess set?

The correct answer is "Todd Masco", although we awarded 1/2 point for the answer "Laura Lemay" and for "Like I remember. Uh, doesn't this have something to do with a story Dan wrote. Maybe they're CCONs? Thank you."

9. What do the Mall Boys do in the morning? (This is a toughie!)

The answer we were looking for was "Get dressed, make a telephone call and then it's back off to the Mall!" However, Eric correctly pointed out that the answer should be "sleep!" because the full lyric is "Wake up in the AFTERNOON 'cause morning comes around too soon. Get dressed make a telephone call and then you're back off to the mall. Tough white adolescent anglo-saxon mall boys." We accepted either answer.

8. What does "shteborgas" mean?

The correct answer is psychobitch, of course.

7. Who the fuck is Mike Fischer?

The correct answer is "whatever", however we accepted Joby's "He lived on my floor freshman year in Morewood E-Tower, then demonstrated his wisdom by transferring to a state school. (SUNY Stony Brook in his case.)" as being TECHNICALLY correct. Answers we did NOT accept were: "He is the guy who originally played Eric on CMU 15217 but was later replaced with Mike Darweesh", "An AI experiment set up by Dan under a crack house in the South Bronx" and "Some bunch of nuts".

6. What does Rob think about life?

While there is no definitive answer to this, we accepted "Depends on the time of day", "Depends on the phase of the moon, the weight of the nearest cow and the price of eggs in Poughkipsie, NY", "Life Sucks, and Chuq is the reason why", "Rob is the piper" (see #5) and "Life is great. No, really".

5. When life's going great, what does it mean?

As all d&e'ers should know by now, it means you're just being set up for the bigger fall. We also accepted "You're about to be hit by a Mac truck", and "It's time to pay the piper".

4. Who is the happiest and most fulfilled d&e'er?

Trick question -- there are no happy and fulfilled d&e'ers. Not surprisingly, most people got this right. Gray gets -1 point for his answer: "Me."

3. Why is the ampersand spelled out?

The correct answer: to combat international terrorism and protect the interests of (corporate) America. However, we also accepted "Because of those Andrew bastards!" and other answers of this ilk.

2. When Eric or Jon says "whatever", what do they REALLY mean?

The answer we were looking for was "wHATEver", however we also accepted "We HATE eVERyone" and awarded a half point for "I'm not sure if you knew this but I never really liked you", "I'm going to kill you last", "Penis" and "Kill me".

So the scores for everyone who sent me responses are:

And since Eeyore sent me the following message just now:

	From: (Elliott C. Evans)
	Subject: Whatever
	To: dan@porsche.visix.COM

	How does it feel to be old enough to be
	a dead actor?

his score gets dropped to 0.

Not surprisingly, Eric is the clear winner. Congrats, ERIC! BTW since nobody got #1, I thought I'd just leave it till the end.

1. What is "bangstill" and what do you need to have to get some?

The answer is, of course (hi Nate !):

Coquagline-       highly toxic

description:      A synthetic chemical produced strictly
       		  for plumbing clogs
classification:   Amphetamine with tendencies toward hallucinogenic
addiction:  	  High

street name:	  BANGSTILL
slang names:      Stiff, sit shit, pink death, powder load
composition:      Lithium chloride,Dihexel-finalbimorphate 6
                  Dextrose,Hydrochloric magnizophate,Benzoplasma
production:       In household kitchens and bathrooms without copper
	      	  fixtures.  Can be bought from wholesale chemical
                  houses [strictly protected, MUST HAVE PLUMBING
legality:         Illegal for abuse
forms:     	  Pills and powder, rarely but sometimes liquid
storage:	  Room temperature [anywhere above 88 degrees will turn
                  mixture to highly toxic fumes]
length of effects:6-74 hours

measured effects:

0 min. Ingestion.

1 min. -  5 min. The drug is absorbed through mucus membranes.

5 min. - 40 min. The drug hits the brain and effects are perceived  
immediately.  Some describe it as "an orgasm out of nowhere."  The user  
feels intense pleasure accompanied by an actual orgasm.  This stage lasts  
for over thirty minutes and the user is immobile in his chair or in the  
area where the drug was ingested.  The user generally has a pleasurable  
expression but experiences severe body seizures.  Researchers speculate  
that at this stage the drug affects the sexual response system of the  
brain, as it causes the user to have an extended orgasm of up to an hour  
in duration.

40 min. - 2 hrs. The user feels neither drained nor tired after the  
orgasm.  In fact, he seems to have more energy than usual.  He cannot sit  
still and seeks oral gratification.  To satisfy this intense urge, the  
user will place almost anything in his mouth.  With so much energy, the  
user is extremely hard to control.  Most users choke to death at this  

2 hrs. - 6 hrs. The user is full of energy and will sometimes see  
hallucinations.  A fear of closed spaces occurs.  The user must be  
outdoors or violent behavior may result.  Once outside, the user will seek  
to smell everything.

6 hrs. - 8 hrs. Through this phase, the user focuses almost entirely on  
the intense pleasure gained from smell.  Users have been observed to be  
totally absorbed for hours by the aroma of a single flower.  Users  
describe this stage as a loss of self and a breaking down of the ego.  It  
is unclear whether the smells perceived are hallucinogenic or actual.

8 hrs - 24 hrs. In this stage, smells are still perceived, but intense  
pain comes from the kidneys, due to the filtering of the drug from the  
blood stream.  The drug becomes strongly basic.  The kidneys are partially  
dissolved and permanent damage occurs.  Most users pass out or go into  
shock at this point.  It seems that the users who survive this phase are  
mostly heavy heroin users under the influence of both drugs at the same  

24 hrs - 74 hrs. The user is suddenly relieved of pain through the  
urinating of the drug's by-products.  The user is again euphoric and  
continues on another extended orgasm lasting from one to three days  
[depending on dosage].  The user is capable of little activity and will be  
wracked by convulsions.  This stage is characterized by a complete lack of  
desire to eat, drink or sleep.

74 hrs.+  At this beginning of this period, most users die of starvation  
or dehydration.  The survivors usually enter a deep depression lasting  
between a week and a year.  Suicidal tendencies are exhibited throughout  
and a full 70% of users kill themselves.

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