Date: Tue, 20 Jun 1995 15:57:46 -0400 (EDT)
From: Goob (
Subject: A poem...
To: List Dan&Eric

...I found doing some archeological digging in /usr/tmp. The translation is a little rough, and I apologize for that, but I hope you enjoy it. Apparently, this poem is an account of a deed done by a great wizard long ago. There is no title.

Other than that, I have no idea what it's about.

Gather, my friends, and hear; my story is a strange
strange tale, so strange that I myself little believe
the heart of it, but it is as my eyes have seen,
and I will swear before the Gods on the Mountain
if you so wish me too and prove the truth of it.

The story begins simply. On the other night
after the bright sun had slipped from the good table
of our long earth a group of revelers gathered
about my house. They had been inbibing heavy
of wine and other libations of the Hoofed God,
and they sang my name. I went down into the street
to greet them and to see what it was they wanted.

Many mine friends were there; Batholi and Eeyos
from the house of all, Chioxthoos from the shore west,
and Kunes were there, as well as my friend Twinkes
and a stranger named Kent from the high mountain tops.

They said they had gathered to follow the great mage
Zelenkos on a quest of a sort. I have heard
of the man, and I recognized his face in the
center of the crowd. Here is his heroic tale.

The mage had suffered five years to the day in the
fierce forced service of the minor God, Extermes,
who is worshipped and has great following in the
land of Mu, which is after the sea. The mighty
men of Mu are bitter, bitter, bitter people,
but the women are but few and very comely.

The mage and his followers had just come from the
oracle of the Panther God, and were just now
going to Mu to make a holy offering.
The nature of the offering was being kept
close to the heart of Zelenkos, and so he would
tell no one but his apprentince, a man who went
by the name of Ste'. From what I could understand
of it, they would make a great offering to the
god Sternos, in hopes of release from the most foul
and blackly demonic contract with Extermes.

They asked me to write down the accounts of that night
so they could be highly remembered for ever,
and it is this account that you hold before you
I joined the band and set off with them to the place.

We came to the great city of Weh. It was here
in Weh that we were to procure the supplies for
the offering, as was told by the oracle.
We were not too welcomed in Weh, not even by
the gods; when we went to the place where the supplies
were kept for the offering to the great Sternos,
the two-faced god of the six clubs was guarding it.
Eeyos, a member of the group and companion
to the Mage, wished for us to go down and reason
with the god in attempt to trap the god by wit,
but we were afraid of the god's great power and
decided to wait. We found a quiet place and
sat down to plan. Ste' produced a magic ball that
bounced higher than my hand when I dropped it, and we
played a game of our invention to pass the time.

From time to time, members of the group left to test
the presence of the god of the clubs. It was then
when we met with one of the custodians of
Weh, and we watched for a while. Eventually,
the Mage came back with the offering, and said we
must follow him to the place of the offering,
and we did what the exaulted mage asked of us.

The offering was to take place on top of the
sacred hill of Doh, which was very dangerous.
The great hunters of Mu held this place holy,
and if they caught us we would surely be punished.
The man named Kunes and I felt it might be a
better thing if we stood off a distance, so as
to better see the image of the offering.
Kunes claimed to be a magician with a box
that could remember what it saw, but I did not
believe him, even when he used it. So did we wait
in the rain for the sign of the offering, but
it never came. In sorrow, we went back to the
secret meeting place to try to find Zelekos.

Later we found him, and learned that the great mage had
indeed forgotten the materials of the
offering to Sternos, but this was a blessing.
For as he went back to Weh to retieve them, Ste'
found four fold material to offer as well.
We were all indeed impressed by the size of the
offering of Ste'. All looked well on the hill.

Then it started to rain; Extermes was displeased,
and would try tostop the sacrafice. But the brave
mage was undaunted, and went forth with his great plan.
Kunes and I again took up position to
see this great spectacle the sacrafice.

It was at then that Batholi and Chioxthoos
joined us, telling us of the first attempt of the
sacrafice. It seemed that upon the hill they had
seen Kunes and I, and Extermes had sent a
vision upon us to make us seem as hunters
of Mu. We laughed; we were no such men, and now
the sacrafice proceeded to spite Extermes.
Although we felt very foolish, our hearts were glad.

Then, Extermes sent us a real hunter of Mu,
but Zelenkos was too clever and quick, and he
evaded them. He succeded in his holy
offering, and here is what I then saw that night.

In a ring around the highest point of the hill
of Doh were great tongues of fire, licking the very
heavens themselves, as the great Zelenkos sent his
offering up to Sternos. We cheered quietly
as they burned, dancing in the night for all to see
if they had such powers of seeing. Zelenkos
escaped the hunters of Mu, and although I have
not seen him to this day, I believe with all of
my heart that his bondage is over and even
now is he enjoying freedom aside his wine.

'Goob' - | Cats are essentially narcissistic masochists.

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