Date: Wed, 24 May 1995 16:30:46 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Kevin W. Cooney" (cooney+@CMU.EDU)
To: The Dan & Eric Dlist (email@example.com)
Subject: 10 things learned over graduation weekend
My brother looks really silly when he dances. If I look that bad,
somebody please kill me. Boy am I glad I learned how to dance with a
bunch of queer folk. I'm even more happy that my brother is usually a
couple hundred miles away, so won't be embarasssing me at any future
parties. The obvious solution, of course, would have been for me to
keep drinking until I didn't care. Or simply tell him "go away".
My brother has brought making bad puns to an artform. No, I don't
mean clever puns that make you groan, I mean bad puns that make you
wonder if the people he knows are encouraging him by laughing when
they really are laughing in the hopes that he'll go away.
If you haven't guessed by now, my brother really annoyes me. I was
surprised that he even annoyed me more than my parental units. Then
again, he was with me more.
My whole family is pretty clueless about the whole earring thing.
At first I thought they weren't noticing it (some people took some
time), but I decided to wear a big dangly one during commencement, and
they still didn't say a thing. I would have brought it up, but we
seemed to be making progress at actually talking *to* one another,
instead of talking *at* one another.
Raj Reddy gives really lousy talks
SCS is doofy enough to have people talk about the "information
superhighway" at both the honors ceremony and the ceremony where they
hand out diplomas.
My parent's idea of a good place to go for a graduation dinner is
"Howard Johnsons" (I convinced them to go to the Cheese Cellar)
My entire family don't take directions very well. "No, I said take
a right, then an immediate left!". "No, left. LEFT! ...I should
have said 'your other left'". "I _know_ we're going downtown".
The fact that you aren't interested in a subject, and stating so,
has no effect on whether or not my family will actually keep
discussing said subject.
Amazingly enough ,"shut up" works very well. I should have tried
this _years_ ago.
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