Date: Fri, 10 Mar 1995 10:07:37 -0500 (EST)
From: Goob <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Subject: On having children and such.
To: List Dan&Eric <email@example.com >
Nate can never have children. The reason Nate can never have children is they will be raised in a supporting and warm enviornment, growing up to stable, useful individuals I would like to know personally, and we can't have that.
Zarf can never have children. Zarf can never have children because, due to a lack of useful and/or worthy children's type games/puzzles, he will make his own, which will lead to his progeny solving Praser #23 at the tender age of seven, and we can't have that.
Eeyore can never have children. Eeyore can never have children because junior's second-grade one-page essay will be done up in Frame, complete with helpful charts and graphs, and entitled Daddy has an evil beard, but I love him anyway. We can have that, but I don't think we want it.
I can never, ever have children. I can never, ever have children because if I ever did, I'd probably encourage the above people to come over and hang out in hopes of my kids developing vibrant, curious, and incredibly deft personalities, although the more probable effect will be that my children, as a result of such exposure, would end up working at Denny's, or perhaps Perkins, and that would just be rough.
'Goob' - firstname.lastname@example.org | Cats are essentially narcissistic masochists.
ps - Anyone who doesn't understand the nature of this post: please, for the sake of the population, refrain from having any children.